Tie the Tail of the ReTailers

My last blog made me think about this whole new looting stuff called retail marketing. Some times I feel that the success of retailing is a proof to the growing greed of the men and women riding on the shopping cart. When the optimist in me calls me a fool for saying so, the humorist in me couldn’t stop laughing at the way products are sold in the market.

Some of the billboards of these retailers talk to me in an interesting way..

• A 40% dressed model features in a bill board advertising a 60% discount. Generating an interest in any of these two is disastrous.


• A happy family going out of the shop with a car load of plastic bags. Not sure how many families have lost their happiness after doing a similar act.


• Recession sale! Now what are they selling?


• Asia’s biggest mall. Does it sound like Asia’s biggest looting place?

Wanted to dig deep into the minds of the buyers & found something interesting. Thanks to this guy, I came to know about Graph jam which is helping me in presenting this..

Having said this, the wise man in me agrees to the fact that retailers has brought the seller and the buyer close, but I am worried that it is not bringing the real product and the real price close.

My non nonsensical self told me…

You can’t blame me if I call you an Idiot

Sundays are special days. It is this day of the week, which every working human wants to be the longest. The longest 24 hours that you can get in a week. It is this day on which you sit in front of an idiot box and spend time without even knowing what you have done. On all other working days you make the computer box sit in front of an idiot. It takes your time without even allowing you to know what you were doing. At the end of the day it says, “You idiot better go today and come back tomorrow” which you sincere obey.

When your office computer can be blamed to a certain extend. The real criminal is somewhere outside. He is the one who constructed the roads of this city. Those who live in Bangalore will appreciate the thought that Bangalore has a serious traffic problem which can be set right only by eliminating all vehicles. The Government has made its best. It has made man holes, damaged roads and non sense signals so that people could avoid using them. Still..our people dare to go to office everyday. In order to give a better threat, it has trained few street race bikers who could just hit you & take you to heaven (since you are already riding in hell everyday). Also, it has spread a virus which mixes with your DNA and makes you violate traffic rules wherever possible. Still…You won’t get frightened, but continue going to office in your vehicle everyday. You are an idiot who couldn’t even understand Government’s intention.

When you don’t want to risk the road, you rely on the man made three wheeled marvels which I am very fond of. They are the movers and shakers of the city. A casual discussion with the elite intellectual members of Bangalore autowalas gave me shocking revelations of how they read a person’s idiot quotient before giving him a ride. They say “Our assessment is a free gift to those who use our services”. A free analysis of their report is given below to enhance your awareness

Leaving aside these petty issues, we have an Industry flourishing. They wake up every morning & pray to the almighty “God send me as many idiots as possible to my retail store”. They are the ones who have done full blown research on an Individual’s idiotism. As a result of their analysis, they have come up with some innovative offers. I have deciphered the meaning of one such innovation.

Will try to bring more after becoming an idiot in few more cases..