Thanks for making us survive for 2009 years. We don’t know what you expect from us, but we have 9 expectations from you in the year 2009. I am sure that you will meet these expectations as usual.
1. We are happy with the amount of water that we are surrounded with, but please keep the right balance. Don’t increase it so that we all have to live in boat houses and don’t decrease so that we end up drinking sweat. I hope you don’t mind the fact that we use Global warming and Go Green as a catch word but nothing more.
2. We are doing our best to ensure that you are occupied with your work. We have destroyed most of the forest that are created by you centuries ago. We hope that you will think creative and come up with some strategy to build new forest somewhere. We will ensure that we will help you by destroying all the existing forest so that you get a great challenge in the next few years.
3. Thanks for giving us our (may be your) oil products. We have enjoyed playing enough games with that. You know.. we have made it so valuable that the amount of food that my elderly village man eats depends on the cost of crude oil. You just created, we have made it valuable. Please keep creating.
4. Our beloved God has made a mistake. He has made us inhale air for our survival. We don’t like it since we like polluting the air than purifying it. We are looking for an alternative. In the meanwhile, please share our burden. Let us make a 50:50 deal. We will keep polluting the air and you can keep purifying it. What say?
5. When you had just two human survivors, you had given her an apple which is believed to be the cause of all sins in the world. Now, we have taken your role, we give our people with all alcoholic and non alcoholic addictives. This will ensure that you are not blamed for all sins after some 1000 years, but don’t stop giving us the apples.
6. You have made the crows and ants to live with us so that we will learn team work from them. Thanks for that, we expect you to create more such opportunities for us to live. If we have not learnt this, we wouldn’t have played big time events like the World War 1 and World War 2. It seems you are worried about not having a season 3, hence we are keeping an eye on Iraq and other third world countries.
7. We are in the process of developing a successor for you. Interested to know his name? We have called him The Money. Cute name isn’t it? He seems to be promising and we think that he can fill your place soon, but he wants you to stand for some more centuries. Please stay awake till then.
8. My great grand father called Darwin was talking about “Survival of the fittest”. We have proved ourselves as the fittest by giving no place for the animals to live. We know that you are appreciating our supremacy, but all of a sudden it seems that we have to overpower you. Please keep yourself underpowered.
9. Finally..One fine day if you think that our race has to end, I would expect you to take our help. We have conducted successful events like 9/11 and 26/11. Please make use of our expertise rather than repeating your old events like flood, earthquake etc.,