The Ultimate War Movie

It was a dark day; I was alone in my room. Hey...I was hot that day, thanks to the power cut. The best excuse for not reading my text books. I opened my laptop to watch a long pending movie.

Many fighter planes have assembled to attack a single target. The commander was black, heavy and looked like a demon. All others were in their respective positions, in a neat row. They have only one thing in mind. Ready to fly; Ready to kill; Attack the enemy! They have not assembled there for oil, not for power, not to kill terrorism, but for their own life. They will not see the next day if they do not win this night.

The commander called everyone in their communication device and started his instructions.

Commander: Soldiers..Today is our day. We don’t have many targets to attack. We have only one. But Huge! We have to put it on the death bed. We will prove that this army can suck enemy’s blood till the last drop.

Troop: Yes Sir!

Commander: Remember Soldiers. We are fighters by birth. Our weapons are unique. Make use of them wisely. I will tell you today’s war strategy. Listen to it carefully.

Troop: Yes Sir!

Commander: Our center troop fighters will fly first towards the target. In the same time our left troop fighters will go towards west of the target and deviate it with our unique sonic sound system. When the target gets deviated the center will attack and get back to a safe distance.

Troop: Yes Sir!

Commander: When the center gets back, the right troop fighters will go and deviate it towards the east. Now..Left troop will attack.

Troop: Yes Sir!

(Among them was Mos Tyson, the furious and highly energetic soldier. Since he is the hero, he was given with a special privilege to talk in between, hence)

Mos Tyson: We got it sir. Deviate and attack strategy.

Commander: Good my boy. You got it. Soldiers, ensure that everyone in the troop get a chance to attack. Work in perfect sync else our troop will be in trouble.

Troop: Yes Sir!

Mos Tyson: Sir! I would like to lead the center team sir.

Commander: OK Mos Tyson. I appreciate it. You can attack first.

Mos Tyson: I am honored sir.

Commander: FLY!

Troop: Hooon! Hooon!

No one can imagine the effect of such a group attack. The enemy was least prepared for such an attack. Mos Tyson started his flight. Weapon ready! Flying in a very high speed. Towards the target. No humanity, no kindness, he wants to see blood, only blood..No compromise. He will attack the target in another fraction of second. Dash…. came my hands and I trashed Mos Tyson to death.

Flick..Flick..FLICK! My tube light started glowing. The commander shouted “Enemy has activated the killing liquid; All soldiers turn to your back and run…run…bhagooooo..bhagO’O’O’!" My mosquito coil got its power in the right time. Thank you ALL OUT! I can watch my movie quitely without their disturbance.

Picture Courtesy: Travis Gray http://flickr.com/photos/tgray/

The Five Rupee people

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Originally uploaded by GavinZ

In B-Schools they teach us many concepts like Value for Money, Customer Value etc., etc.,

Hey…They even teach us Human Values. Don’t misunderstand them to organ traders, here we mean something else. But, on my way to college everyday, I find one more kind of Value that is given to Humans.

My way to college is a two kilometer ride by Gurgaon’s own share auto system. Here every woman/man (Bach gaya baba) is of equal Value. The one manned vehicle which is in between the size of an auto and a mini truck is the only public transport here. Though people claim that they have buses running, I am yet to witness one.

The best part of these autos is that no passenger is superior, no caste system and no reservations. All are of equal value. Five Rupees to be exact! This is irrespective of where you board and where you de-board; Irrespective of where you sit in the auto. The Five rupee way to keep India united!

A conventional auto is designed to seat 3 + driver, a SUV may seat 7 + driver. Can you imagine how many can these share auto carry? By my best number crunching ability (Allow me to use my 20 fingers) it is 3+4+4+4 and ya..the driver. Making it a maximum of 16! But how? Those who don’t know the answer take a pen and pencil and draw this picture in your mind. Driver sir (The only free rider Rs.0) sits in his seat. Two more people to his left (Rs.10) and one to his right (Rs.5). In the back seat we have four more people (Rs.20). Now, call it efficient engineering or optimal utilization of available space, they have designed a seat in between. There sits four more travelers like me (Rs.20). Keep your WOWs under control, we have the backyards left. This is traditionally the space that is used for keeping luggage. They have designed it to seat four more (Rs.20).

Readers..Add everything. It comes to 15 people or rupees 75 to be exact!

Makes Good sense for the driver as well as the passengers as long as you are insured and have your succession planning perfect!

This thing called Winter

There is nothing called as winter in my native place (Madurai). I remember very hot days, hot days and not so hot days. The maximum that we do in those so called winter months is that we tune the fan regulator to run in speed level 2 or 3. There is nothing to worry beyond that.

Living in NCR is altogether different. Here winter melts down to single digit temperature also, something that is never seen in Tamilnadu. The fog, chill breeze, fully covered girls (strange but true) and kids dressed up with colourful woolen clothes are something that interests me. Roadside shops selling hot egg rolls and our dear Indians from east (I don’t call them east Indians) selling momos and soups are something that an average homo sapiens like me can not resist.

I have some daring experience with this thing called as winter. Last season was my first encounter. I didn’t know its severity. It was one night during last year’s early winter period. Three of us went in the second ones bike to the fourth ones home to eat chicken which was cooked for all four of us. Entire arrangement was made by the fourth one who promised us a quick party. After literally cleaning the vessel with our fingers the fourth one did his best with is tongue.

It was 1.00AM and the happy trio planned a return. As we reached the gate, we could feel that situation is not fine. The road was filled with some kind of smoke which I have seen earlier in my Grandma’s kitchen. The only difference between these two is that my Grandma’s kitchen smoke was hot & this one is…..deadly cold. The other two said that this is called as fog. My first encounter with fog!

We were badly prepared for such weather since the trio is new to this place. We borrowed a long bedsheet from the fourth one and sheltered ourselves. Still we were freezing and I could find tears in my eyes. That was the first day in which I realized that I have done some act of kindness. I have saved a chicken from this freezing cold. It is resting in peace inside my stomach.

Public display of affection

Yo! We are youths of the Millennium. We do whatever we feel like right. If we are not allowed to do that we will fight for that (After all we inherit Mahatma Gandhi and Bhagat singh).

People say that they have the right to behave the way their organs behave, they become gays, lesbians or bisexuals. They go one step ahead and say that they have the right to decide their gender, they become trans-genders. This resulted in the formation of a new term called GLTB (Gay Lesbian Transgender and bisexual). Lots of social and non governmental groups have started groups to protect their interest and to claim equal rights. We call ourselves a conservative society. Will you believe that our own Tourism ministry has a proposal to start GLTB friendly tourism zone?(Our request for starting a tourist friendly tourism zone is still pending).

Sooner or later we will see advertisements in the Times of India by hospitals claiming that they can change your gender with money back guarantee (sorry! No guarantee if you want to go back). Bring your friend and get 50% discount on the bill.

This is totally fine, but You see… I see… we all see this generation becoming more of a dil chahta hai kind. We demand and fight for what our dil wants. An increasingly visible change is the right to publicly display one’s affection for the other. At the airport, Mom hugging a son before he flies off to US and brings in Gloria (Sorry glory) to the family: Acceptable. At the college, group of friends hugging to celebrate the successful completion of a friend’s break up. Acceptable, but what about an umma in the same college to celebrate some ones love. What about a couple rolling on the green bed (not hot bed) in the park just to ..…I don’t want to interfere. What about something something in the airport waiting area just to kill the time (Hollywood movie style).

Sooner or later special interest groups may be formed who fight to get their right and say “We have the right to express our affection even in public. If the public have any problem, then they may either close their eyes or move away. After all a public place is for public.“

Come that day and we can see boards like “Please don’t display your affection here”. We will have television live shows debating this subject; name of the show may be “Aakhir Kiss ka keemat kya hai?”

10 Tips for profs to become famous

For college goers being famous is more desirable than getting graduated. Students have more than 1000 ways to do it. The missed lot are the professors who go everyday, see the brick headed guy covering the Miss.Kiss kind of girl.

These professors show as if they are not interested in becoming famous among students, but their mind says otherwise. Being a acha bacha student, I heard their silent cries. Here I give them ten different napkins to wipe that salt water out.

1. This one is followed throughout the world: Grow your hair long enough to indicate that there is some thing hidden inside.
   
2. Oh! Now I know that this is the toughest but you have to do this: Comb your hair properly.
   
3. This one requires some investment, but try it: Drive an SUV.
   
4. I know that you save your energy in verandas and faculty lounges to utilize inside the classroom, but: Say hello to students when they meet you accidentally outside.You can hug or throw your arms around if they give enough space.
   
5. Show some animal instinct: Wait! Don’t over imagine. I mean to say that you can fight with a faculty who gives the least internals to students (Profit from it).
   
6. Don’t build an all round personality: Have a flat tummy.
   
7. Exercise during class hours : A smile is a good exercise to your facial muscles.
   
8. This is against the dharma of a Professor, but follow this: leave the class well before schedule when you see blood coming out of your student’s ears.
   
9. This one will make you a subject matter expert even if you are not: Blame conventional academicians, question old theories.
   
10. Hey..This one is optional : Teach!

Why Free?

Writing Since Free...Are you confused with this name? So am I.

Am I writing since writing is free ?
OR
Am I writing since I am free?

Let us not think much about it because it costs both of us something. let us just share something randomly provided it is free for both of us!